All You Ever Wished For is a fanciful romp and more – a fable, a caper, and four romances rolled into one. It begins when Tyler Hutton, a novice New York fashion exec, flies to Milan, Italy, in hopes of closing a deal and impressing his boss, his estranged father. Instead, Tyler is kidnapped and driven into the mountains by three bumbling Mafioso – Aldo, Bambo, & Cetto – to be held for ransom. They manage to get themselves lost, though, and spend the night in an abandoned cottage in a village that is under a spell. Upon awakening, each benighted man falls in love with the first living soul to meet his eyes…
With only love on their minds, Tyler and his captors abandon the kidnapping scheme in order to remain in the tiny village and pursue their hearts’ desires. For Aldo, that’s the homely spinster Fedelia; for Bambo, it’s the handsome Roxxo; and for Cetto, it’s the purest love of all, Nuta, a beautiful brown-eyed cow. Tyler, meanwhile, has the most formidable task, for he is fated to pursue Rosalia, the raven-haired village beauty with a sharp tongue.
Aldo takes a job with Fedelia’s uncle, who can’t believe his good fortune, that his homely niece has at last found a suitor. And while Bambo’s ardor for Roxxo is initially met with resistance, before long the men are chopping wood together or cycling around the countryside in matching spandex outfits. Cetto, though, is wracked with uncertainty over Nuta’s fidelity. Is it he, Cetto, she loves… or El Toro, that menacing bull out in the pasture?
When the ransom suddenly arrives, the desperate Cetto steals away with it to purchase his beloved cow from its owner, the village Mayor, who, hoping to break the village spell, in turn spends all the cash throwing a lavish Festival of Love. Alas, while the romantic fates of the kidnapping trio look promising, our hero Tyler is still getting nowhere in his attempt to win the hardened heart of beautiful Rosalia.
But hope springs eternal and the Festival of Love’s masquerade dance presents one last chance at love when Rosalia (wearing a pagan she-goat mask) and Tyler (masked as an ass) compete in a frenzied test of wills on the dance floor. Building to its climactic moment, Tyler is stunned into silence when Rosalia impetuously grants him his most fervent wish: her kiss.
Hoisting Rosalia to his shoulder, Tyler heads straight for the church, followed by the three kidnappers and their beloveds, along with an army of cheering villagers. Upon their arrival, the blind priest Father Sarto is at first aghast, but hearing their pleas and “seeing” their sincerity, he agrees to perform his priestly duty and marry them, one and all, on the spot!
Just when it appears that love has won the day, the gun-wielding Mafia Don and his goons arrive, along with the exasperated father of the groom, Gordon Hutton. Their attempts to sort everything out – including the missing ransom money – get lost in a cacophony of explanations and pitched emotions, and things begins to unravel. But Tyler, in his finest hour, stands firm against the bullying threats from his father and the don. Not only does young Tyler claim the hand of his Rosalia, in doing so he becomes a man.
Thus ends our delightfully twisted Italian tale, with everyone getting all they hoped for, and exactly what they deserve. And that, as they say, is amore!
Massimo De Lorenzo
Mary Lynn Staley
David Nichols (p.g.a.)
Julia Rask (p.g.a.)
Barry Morrow (p.g.a.)
Director of Photography